Tripping Together: Boundaries and Bonds in Family Psychedelic Experiences
When Dr. Monnica Williams offered to introduce us to her daughter Zoe to talk about psychedelics, we jumped at the opportunity. In addition to her groundbreaking research on the impact of psychedelics on race-based trauma, Dr. Williams also runs a behavioral health clinic in Connecticut that offers ketamine assisted psychotherapy. Several of her family members work there, including two of her daughters. Conversations about psychedelics were not only a natural part of family life, they were a job requirement.
As for personal experiences, Zoe’s interest in psychedelics was piqued when her mother returned from a trip to Costa Rica and described her profoundly transformative ayahuasca journeys. Dr. Williams was forthcoming and open with her daughter, which also helped open a dialogue about what Zoe was witnessing among her college-aged peers. They decided to have two experiences together with changa and with psilocybin. Zoe described them as nuanced and dynamic.
“ In the beginning it was very emotional for her and it was very hard for me to see that, especially in an altered state,” she said. “I couldn’t even have my own experience because I was so focused on her. It was almost very disturbing to me.” After some time in separate rooms, they came back together and had a “beautiful experience next to each other” that allowed her to understand her mother better and bring them closer.
In cultures where using psychedelics or other non-ordinary states of consciousness are part of a regular spiritual practice, children may have exposure to their parents in an altered state. Outside of that cultural framework, parents and children who decide to trip together may initially struggle to see each other in this new light. Bringing this topic up beforehand and planning for creating more space (whether physical or emotional) can be a useful element in preparation.
For Zoe and her mother, this meant being able to stay in separate rooms during some of the more intense parts of their trip. The physical boundary and space between them made it easier for Zoe to dive deeper into her own experience. [It is helpful to note that Plant Parenthood did not discuss this experience with Dr. Williams since she wanted her daughter to be able to decide what she felt comfortable discussing]. When they rejoined, it was with a renewed sense of closeness.
Many parents are well positioned to introduce their children to psychedelics in a safe way, and as we move into a period of greater access, more parents may choose to do so. Preparation for any psychedelic experience is important, and for parent and child experiences, there are special considerations. Here are some questions you may wish to discuss beforehand:
What will it be like for you to see me in a state you’ve never seen me in before?
What happens if I go through an intense emotional experience? What happens if you can’t help me with that? Who might be able to help me instead?
If we need more space from each other, what physical boundaries do we need to discuss to feel safe and comfortable within this experience? What about emotional boundaries?
Is there anything that has been on your mind that you’d like to air out before we go into an altered state together?